Stay
by Holz9364
Summary: AU when the bough breaks ep. What if Beckett CONVINCES Castle to stay with Nikki Heat before he gets the call about the 3 book deal? :


**Stay**

_**A/N - Set after the S2 episode "When the Bough Breaks". We all know Becketts not actually disappointed that Castle is staying with her…**_

_**Inspired by the song 'Stay' by Sugarland!**_

_**Disclaimer: Yeah it's all mine…in my dreams!**_

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><p>One word had been ringing in my head all day, one word that I just needed to say, one word that I wanted to say, one word that I wanted to scream at him, one word that in the end I hadn't said.<p>

I act like I have this tough shell that no one can break through, but my pokerface is better than everything believes it to be, even Castle falls for it sometimes but when I want him to see the truth he doesn't, he can't.

All day I've been off, worried, thinking about doing this without Castle to lighten up my day, to bring me coffee, to just make me laugh, and the truth is that I hate to think about it because somehow he has wriggled his way into my life, and into my heart. I've become so accustomed to having Richard Castle in my life that I don't know what I'd do if suddenly he wasn't in my life anymore. So when I was faced with that possibility, that Castle could be off writing novels for 'a certain British spy', I tried to feel happy and when I couldn't feel any happiness I tried to figure out why, and I came up against a brick wall.

I couldn't see what the problem was, I couldn't see what everyone else had seen since Castle had started shadowing me last year. I thought about it, and I realised I had come to care about him, he was the closest thing I had to a best friend, and as a colleague I valued him, and (although I'll never tell him this) he did close a lot of the tougher cases with his interesting insight and out of the box but kind of genius idea's.

Richard Castle was crazy, and unique, and sweet and caring, and an amazing writer, but it hit me, some point during the day as I discreetly watched him with the boys, that he wasn't just any amazing writer, he was my amazing writer and I was his muse, and as much as I protested I liked that, I liked that I'd in some aspects tamed him from the playboy he was when I met him, I liked that I had that control, that he cared about me enough to tone down his crazy lifestyle.

Finally I had to admit to myself that I had fallen hard for him, probably within the first few months, and it had only gotten worse, yet I'd denied it so long that I hadn't even seen it myself when the evidence had so clearly been laid out before me. I am aware I'm a good detective but in that moment I was glad that I wasn't an agony aunt because when it came to analysing love…well that's a different ballpark entirely.

It was then, after I'd stepped out of my relaxing bubble bath (a.k.a my thinking place) that I realised that if I was in love with Castle then there was no way I was going to let him go that easily so I got dressed, dried my hair, grabbed my coat and left my apartment.

That's where I am now, trying not to think about it too much as I walk the 4 block journey to Richard Castles loft apartment, I'm not entirely sure I know what I'm going to say when I get there, in fact thinking about what I'll say makes me feel sick so I push it from the back of my mind and walk with a determined stride towards my destination.

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><p>All day my emotions were mixed and I didn't know what to do, stay with Nikki Heat, or leave. But whenever I said 'Nikki Heat' to myself, my subconscious laughed at me, because it wasn't about Nikki Heat at all, it was about Beckett.<p>

I wasn't ready to leave her, to end our little thing, I loved shadowing her, she'd grown on me slowly over the years to the point that I actually felt a way I'd never felt about any woman before, she'd changed me and she'd done it without even realising because she was extraordinary.

So all day I'd been faced with a dilemma, to take this amazing once in a lifetime opportunity or stay with her, write more Nikki Heat, spend more time with her…and it was honestly the most difficult decision I'd ever made since the day Alexis asked me if I would let her go on her first date.

I'd always known that I had a crush on Beckett, ever since the day she leant up close to me and whispered 'You have no idea', that gave me shivers and she knew it had done that to me. She knew the effect she had on me, at least…she must know, how could she not?

This crush that I'd first gotten when we met seemed to have gotten out of control very quickly and it scared me, Esposito and Ryan hinted at it, my Mother and Alexis knew there was more to it than I let on, I was so easy, and I figured that if everyone else knew then obviously Beckett did too, but no, she had remained painstakingly oblivious for so long.

I had kept it that way, to be honest I had liked it that way, I hadn't wanted Beckett to know, I hadn't wanted to ruin our friendship by telling her something that she might not be able to return because I wasn't certain how mutual my feelings were, or if the feeling even was mutual, sometimes I thought that maybe she had feelings for me but then she'd do something to throw me off and all of a sudden I'd have no idea what was going on in her head (which was weird because writing Nikki Heat usually required me to be _in _her head).

It was as I paced my apartment with Alexis and my Mother glancing over at me occasionally, sharing worried looks and contemplating coming over to talk to me, that I realised what they'd known all along, it wasn't about the books or Nikki Heat, it was about Beckett and spending time with her, I enjoyed spending every day with her because I loved her and with it all clear in my head I genuinely couldn't understand why it had taken so long for me to realise something so obvious.

With a grin I kissed Alexis and Mother on the cheek, grabbed my heavy coat and ran out into the chilly New York evening. I could have taken the car but Beckett only lived 4 blocks away and I felt like the walk would do me some good, the cool air would calm me down and I'd have some time to figure out what to say to her when I got to her apartment.

As I walk I am so lost in my thoughts that I don't even see someone coming towards me, I bump right into the poor person and knock them to their feet, I jump and am pulled out of my thoughts as I look down at the young woman, "I'm so sorry Ma'am, I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going." I reach my hand out and she takes it, it's only as I pull her up to her feet and she smiles at me that I realise who she is.

"Beckett." I practically breathe as I stare at her in shock, "I was on my way to your apartment."

Beckett smiles, somewhat sheepishly, "And I was on my way to yours."

We both stare at each other for a second and then at the same time we both decide to speak, "I think I'm in love with you!"

My jaw drops, so does hers, and then the next thing I know we're both laughing.

"I don't want you to leave Nikki Heat." Beckett tells me, and I can see in her eyes that she's genuine, "I don't want you to leave me." Her voice is soft and if I hadn't of strained my ears I wouldn't have heard it, but I do, I smile at her and do the only thing I can think of in that moment, I kiss her, and she kisses me back, she kisses me back softly and sweetly and the moment I feel her lips against mine I melt against her, and her touch is so much more amazing than I'd ever dreamed it was, and I find myself smiling, and I find that she is smiling too, and everything just feels so perfect.

_**The End! :D**_

_**Short & Sweet :P**_


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